So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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