im holly from the hills drunk
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
