WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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