my soul wont recognize me after tonight
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
