Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
