This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
