Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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