You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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