we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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