Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
