a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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