Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
