Soap is not a condiment
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
