Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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