Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
