i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I need a burrito and a hug.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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