What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
