just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
