I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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