..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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