i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
