I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
