i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
this boner is exhausting
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Randomize
