where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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