The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
