After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
