Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
