my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
