I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
