Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
