I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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