I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
