I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
