Quick, to the slutcave!
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
