We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
