that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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