SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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