Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
