I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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