Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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