okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
