He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
