i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
