Porn is love you can see.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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