Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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