when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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