i just google imaged poop.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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