Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
