Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She needs sedatives and a leash
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
