Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Be still, my beating vagina.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
