No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
