ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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